Wednesday, April 08, 2009


I wrote this entry through my iPod Touch after we arrived from the hospital, around midnight. I still feel like crying even until now...

I will surely miss him.

I was in the middle of my nap when my brother woke me up last Saturday, April 4 at about 11:30 am. He told me that our uncle, Tito boy was brought to the hospital due to loss of consciousness. I immediately thought it was stroke- a mild one. But...

It was around 10 am when it happened. It was my cousin, her daughter Ann-Ann who saw him collapsed after drinking water. He actually regained consciousness later. My other uncles told him and his wife tita Rose that they should go to the hospital since tito boy is also suffering from high blood. But then, he refused to saying that they don't have money. Instead, he asked tita rose something for him to eat. Everyone thought it was going to be alright but after a few moments he collapsed again. .. And there was when more to it than simply collapsing. I even shuddered when I was listening to the story.

I was hoping that Tito boy is going to be fine. I was hoping that it was just a mild stroke. That we don't have to really worry much about it. But...

It was when I received a text message later in the afternoon that Tito boy was in a critical condition and was in the ICU and the doctor informed them that there's only a small percentage for him to survive. My brother and I decided to visit him at the hospital for the last time and there, I got the chance to enter the ICU. There, I noticed that it was only tito who's in the most critical condition if you'll base it to all the apparatus connected to his body. When I saw him, I really can't explain what I'm feeling or going to feel knowing that he only got a few moments left. It was only the respirator that's helping him to continue breathing and even the doctor already gave his deadline- it was only up until morning.

It sucks, you know. It feels like I'm having a hard time breathing by just looking at him. That scene where I only get to watch in the movies and soaps- it was my first time to see it first hand.

I can only imagine how hard it is for his wife and two kids, noynoy and isoy to watch him like that. Tito is only 41.

And while I was typing this on my iPod touch, I can still see it- that scene in the ICU. It makes my heart stir.

And now,

I just received a message from tita inday who was also there at the hospital to assist that Tito boy had passed away. It was around 12:55 am of April 5 that Tito finally left us. He passed away leaving his wife and three children who are just 14, 12, and 7 years old. I dont know how or who will break this bad news to them tomorrow. They were actually sleeping right now. Noynoy, the oldest among the three even mentioned earlier, while we are on our way home that he'll be back at the hospital early morning. Im just hoping that he's at least expecting the worse when he's back there tomorrow.

While writing this, I can't help myself not to cry. I will surely miss him- Ang tikalon ko nga Tito. We will definitely miss him. Pati ang mga upod nya sa imnanay.

I'm actually a little hesitant to face what's in store for all of us tomorrow. This is something new to me- having a close relative, a really close one to pass away. I mean, someone whom you've been accustomed to see since you were young. Someone who brought home a huge snake when you were young and asked you to touch it. Someone who went a little crazy over love and ran am mock trying to scare everyone else. Someone whom you'd ran to when there something wrong with the washing machine, or the fridge, or the iron, or even the motorcycle.

Life indeed is unpredictable. One thing I learn about this is living your life to the fullest. Live it like today is your last. It might sound cliché but it's true. You really wouldn't know what will happen next. I can still remember how it feels like when I left the office early this morning. I thought it was an ordinary day just like my usual Saturdays... But I guess not...

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